


How to Take Care of a Drunk Speedster

by watashinomori



Category: Young Justice - All Media Types
Genre: Birdflash - Freeform, Bluepulse, Cousins, Cute, Drunk Speedster, Funny, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Rating to be sure, Responsible Bart, only the speedsters appear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-13
Updated: 2015-10-13
Packaged: 2018-04-26 05:20:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4991719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watashinomori/pseuds/watashinomori
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wally got home drunk and Bart is the only one there to take care of his cousin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to Take Care of a Drunk Speedster

**Author's Note:**

  * For [itried](https://archiveofourown.org/users/itried/gifts).



> The NaH BrO joke is in honor of Itried!

Wally was wasted. No joking, wasted as hell. Dick Grayson had showed up on his porch and dropped the drunk redhead. He smiled a sorry and left for whatever a bat would do at that time. And Bart was left with a drunk Wally, who was laughing something about Dick's butt. What had Bart done to deserve that?

Pulled his cousin (once removed, being removed, about to be disowned) inside and dropped him on the couch and went to the kitchen. Now, what? Cold bath? Sugar? Coffee? What in the world could heal a speedster drunk? What could make a speedster drunk in the first place?

“Baaaaart” Wally laughed hi-pitched beside him. “You are sooooo pretty! I love you sooooooooooooooooooooo much” half hugged half put all his weight on the boy. So Wally was that kind of drunk. He got their faces way too close and passed a hand on his face. “Sooooo pretty! I should drop you in a tower and put a dragon to protect your virtue” he was thoughtful. “Maybe one bat or one super… no… no supers! Or bats! You stay away from Tim or Conner!” Wally tried to take a step and almost fall. Bart caught him.

“Wally! Please! Stand up and go to your room!”

“You sure are Aunt I' son.. gand… brand… grant...” he actually growled. “son son. You sound like her!” he laughed way too loud. “SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH you gonna wake up uncle B” Bart rolled his eyes.

“Uncle B is not home, Wallace. Nor grandma. How can you be drunk?”

“'m not droonk… drank… drink...” he close his eyes. “d-r-you-n-okay… what was I saying?”

“You were trying to spell drunk and failed miserably.”

“Happens” shrugged, or something that looked a lot like shrugging without really being a shrug. “Hey, why did we never had a movie night? Let's pull an all-nighter and watch whatever your gen watch!” threw himself on the couch and brought the poor boy with him. Hugging him tight and giving him a wet kiss on the cheek. “Love you sooooo much!” and burst in giggles.

“Just if you take a bath and eat something!” complained. “You're smelling!”

“It's a macho scent. It leaves the girls and dicks aroused” Bart facepalmed himself. He refused to accept he had just heard that.

“No! Argh! NO! Shut up and go to take a bath!” pointed to the way to the bathroom.

Wally grabbed his hands and pulled him to the place. Bart tried to release himself from the grip, but the older boy was being really firm. They entered the bathroom and Wally started to undress clumsily.

“What are you doing?!”

“Taking a bath! You said to me!” he tilted his head in confusion.

“You take the bath, not me! I'm leaving!”

“NOOOOOOOOOOES! I always always always wanted a baby brother to bathe with me. So I would scrub his back and then wash his hair! It would be soooooooo nice!” Wally drunkenly smiled to him. “Come with onii-chan!” grabbed his waist and put him in the bathtub.

“One-what?” Bart tried to get away, but Wally turned the faucet and Bart was wet. “WHAT THE HELL? WALLY I'M DRESSED! MY PHONE IS IN MY POCKET!” he left the bathtub in superspeed to save his belongings. Why wasn't he using his speed earlier?

“Oops? I didn't know you wanted to get naked with me” Wally was redder than usual (he managed to get redder than his drunk self was). “I'm sorry but only my life of love can see me naked!”

“I don't… are you even making sense? Look! Take a bath. I'm fetching you some food! Don't sleep in the tub!” and ran towards the kitchen.

Asking himself if it was a good idea to let the drunk dude in the tub by himself. It was Wally, in his future he was the most amazing hero, he was the Flash, he had saved Bart more times than he could even remember, even though past-Wally was somewhat weak and weird and Bart despised him. But he was a Wally nevertheless. A tub could do him no harm.

“BAAAAAAAAAART!” thank all the gods (Old and New as that tv series with dragons used to say) Barry and Iris were at the Garricks for the night and they took the twins along.

He ran to the bathroom and found Wally curled in the tub crying. How come a tub was able doing that?

“Don't leave me!” he clung on the small cousin. Bart's clothes wet. “Stay with me. I'm so useless!” and sobbed.

Bart sat on the edge of the tub and rubbed his back.

“Why are you useless?”

“Becouse no one love me!” sobbed and buried his face in Bart's lap. “You hate me! Uncle B hate me! Even Dick ha...hate me!” screamed and cried.

“Why would you think that?”

“You told me!”

“I never said that!” he was offended.

“You said you hated me! You said just the other day!” Wally accused him.

“Yeah, but I never said Grandpa or Dick hated you!”

“I never said you said those!” Wally was confused again and tilting his head. Bart screamed in frustration. “But you hate me!”

“I was teasing, Wallace! I don't hate you, okay? Just take your bath. I'm gonna make your dinner!” and begun to leave. Wally cried, again. He turned on his heels. “WHAT?”

“You hate me… just like Dick does!”

“What is you with Dick today?” threw his hands in the air exasperated.

“I wanted to confess… but I never had dank before...”

“Drank” corrected.

“Yeah, I did drank. How could you tell?”

Bart seriously considered to drown in the tub.

“I'm psychic” rolled his eyes.

“There is no such thing!” Wally dismissed, receiving and incredulous look from Bart.

“Why do you think Dick hates you?”

“He left me here, didn't he? I'm drunk! It's not the common sense that he would take me home and get into my pants?”

“GOSH, WALLY! Too much information! JUST TOO MUCH, OKAY? And even in my future that is wrong!”

“But I read on the internet is a way to get the dude you like to have sex with you. To get drunk with them!”

“I'm not even questioning what the hell you've been reading or even if you like Dick. I just want to you to finish this bath, eat something and go to bed!” Bart stood up. “NOW!” he shut the door after him.

Wally showed up a minute later, dragging his feet, pouting. Bart threw a plate with lots of sweet foods. Wally ate a little of it and pushed the plate away. Bart raised an eyebrow to that. He sat beside him and managed to make him eat a little more, feeding him. Caressed the red hair, he had dropped his head on Bart's shoulder. Wally was silent and quiet.

“So, do you like Dick?” Bart couldn't stand the silence.

“Yeah, he's my bff” he sniffed, closing his mouth on the fork.

“You said you wanted to have sex with him. That's not a bff thing.”

“No” for each answer he wanted to avoid he took a bite of the food.

“Did you tell him?”

“No, Yes… I guess? I said something and he laughed… but I think he didn't get it” sniffle. Bart rolled his eyes, by the end of this night he would probably acquire some problem from rolling his eyes so much. Wally probably said he loved Dick, just as he was saying he loved anything. At the end, he was that kind of drunk.

“Why did you think grandpa hates you?”

“I'm not fast as you are” bite. Wally being that obedient was weird. “I wanna sleep!” he was closing his eyes.

“Okay, let's go to bed” Bart helped him to the bedroom. He tucked him in the bed. Wally held his hand.

“Stay with me” he was almost blacking out. Bart nodded and laid beside him. “I always wanted a little brother” and slept.

Bart wondered how good his life could be if his-timeline-Wally wanted a little brother as well. He woke up for a painful groaning. Wally was sitting, a hand on his temples. Bart sat too, rubbing his eyes.

“How are you?”

“Dead! And, please, whisper. My head is killing me” his voice was low.

“How come did you get drunk?” Bart asked curiously. Wally landed a hand on his small back, half hugging him. “Why aren't you healed yet?”

“I'm without my powers” that declaration hit him by surprise. Couldn't Wally run?

“No! You have to run! If you can't, how will you become the Flash?”

“Bart, whisper! One, slow down, no speed, remember? Two, the Flash? Me? And three, it's not permanent, it's just until Dick gets here and take the inhibitor collar from me” he showed the small band on his neck that Bart missed last night.

“Oh, sure. If you have the inhibitor you have no power to hyper metabolize the alcohol. You can get drunk! Crash!” he said the last word loudly and Wally shut his eyes. “Sorry! When will he be back?”

“Probably after work” caressed the boy's head, almost like petting a small animal. “Since I'm already here. Wanna do something together?” Bart looked at him suspicious. “Now that I think, I guess we never spent time together, did we?”

“Nope, you are always busy with your friends” Bart fidgeted.

“I guess I am. And you are always with that boy. The one who condemned the whole world” Wally raised his face and look in his eyes. “Are you dating him?”

“What? Me and Blue? No! No. No. No! Nope. Not at all. No!” the blush on his cheeks were betraying his words, Wally squeezed his eyes. “I swear! No!”

“Too many noes for one question! Argh! I really gonna kill him! Too early for this headache!”

“No! Please! He's my best friend!”

“Now, consider him dead, already!”

“Not only because you wanna fuck your best friend that everyone wants the same!” Bart placed his hands on his hips. He realized his grandma used to do the same move.

“Bart, you may not want, what about him? Are you sure? I may not kill him… yet… but I will have some serious talking to him!” Bart was happy, even if Wally was being possessive and overprotective. Because he always wanted to Wally to be like that kind of big brother (or cousin). But he wanted the Wally from his future to be like that. But somehow, it didn't feel bad to have this one fussing over him.

“Let's just watch some movie and eat something!”

Wally smiled and went to the living room with him. Bart chose an old playlist from Pewdiepie, with the nice surprise that Wally not only was a bro, he also had watched the whole channel. They picked up Amnesia because of course. West barely ate anything. His stomach was upset. It was fun to watch Wally not eating. His headache got better after a hot cup of coffee.

“Did he really leave Stephano in the other room? Is he crazy?” Bart asked skeptical, seeing Pewdiepie to leave the golden statue in a room to solve a puzzle in another.

“He will go back for him. He is a bro. No bro is left behind!” Wally proclaimed, but Stephano was gone when Pewds was back. The boys screamed together with the youtuber for the lost of Stephano, even if both of them knew another statue would appear later in the game. “Hey, a guy asked his friend had heard about Sodium Hydro…?”

“Don't you dare to finish that!” he complained. Wally pouted. “Fine! Do your mode thing and end it!”

“...bromide? And he answered NaH BrO!” laughed. Bart rolled his eyes, but left a chuckle escape. “You laughed! I won!”

“I laughed of your silliness, dude! Hermano, NaH BrO joke? Seriously?” he fake punched him. Wally fake fell from the couch.

“That ' _hermano_ ' thing. Where did you learn that?”

“School?” Wore his most innocent face.

“It was the blue boy!”

“It's Blue Beetle! And, yes, was from him! Gosh! Is it really that bad for me to like him?”

“It's really that bad for you to like anyone! You are too cute for that!” Wally bear-hugged him.

“Since when you think I'm cute. I'm not cute, I'm crash!”

“Crashily cute!” Wally nuzzled him.

It became a fight. Wally trying to cuddle him and Bart trying to escape. No speed. It would be unfair.After that they went to the kitchen to make a special lunch for them. They even searched a cooking channel to try a new recipe. Wally was muttering how weird was to be slow and how he wanted his speed back. Bart threw an egg at him. They ran around the house food fighting (Barry would kill them, but it was fun). Bart had tapped into speedforce a few times, but in general he was able to control his speed.

It wasn't bad, that kind of thing. It was before, but not now. That 'everything we do together ends in a fight'. Why was Wally so different so suddenly. Bart actually stopped in his lazy ass hideout wondering that and received a massive attack of licked marshmallows. They were stick y and gross.

“EW! Did you lick them?”

“It's super effective!” said with a bunch of them inside the mouth, spat them on his hands and threw one by one on Bart.

Wally got tired after lunch. No hyper metabolism sucked. He had that after meal slumber, and just wanted to lay down and nap. Bart, as always, was full of energy.

“Why don't you call Dick?”

“It's not that simple” he replied he was all stretched out on the floor.

“Why not?”

“You are too young to understand” he looked  at the boy.

“Not that young! I know a thing or two about relationships!”

“No, you don't and will never know!” Wally pouted, but soon he smiled. “I wanted to confess to him yesterday...”

“I know, bro. TMI, last night. Totally not crash!” he made a grimace.

“Sorry, alcohol works differently from what I expected. But that's the point. I don't know how he will react to that. If I managed to convey my feelings. If we will become a couple. And what that truly means!” Bart laid down by his side, resting his head on his chest. Wally wrapped him with one arm.

“Being with your best friend is great” he answered blushing. “You do whatever you used to do with him, and still get the love, you know?” Wally was gasping.

“You and the blue boy!”

“Blue Beetle” corrected. “Yes, we've been dating for two weeks now. Don't tell grandpa, okay? I just moved in here. I love the Garricks, but I don't want to live there. I want here” Wally sighed.

“Uncle B won't send you away because of this, we'll probably plot about how to kill a beetle, but not really do anything” ran a hand through his auburn hair. “We are just a little overprotective, just that. You are a kid in the end.”

“Will you hate me for real if I end up, you know, doing with Jaime?”

“Not at all, but I sure hope you don't! Too young for that!” squeezed. “Is it really great? Date your best friend?”

“Best thing in the world!” he closed his eyes, the sound of Wally's heart beating at a human pace was nice, his warm and body were cozy.

“I wish I will know how it is” and they fell asleep.

Barry got home, putting the young twins at the floor. They ran superspeeded around the place. Iris was putting the car in the garage. He entered and saw his  two boys lying on the floor sleeping. Pulled his mobile and took a picture. He posted in the group of the ' _ Soon to be Family _ ' with a subtitle ' _ Look how our boys are so darn cute!  _ _ Dick, Jaime, c _ _ ome  _ _ today  _ _ so we can have a family dinner, all  _ _ of us  _ _ together! _ '.  Then he saw the whole mess the house was. ' _ Come soon, before I kill them both and you guys have to find new boyfriends-to-be! _ '


End file.
